Happy... whatever.

So we've finally reached that dreaded day that all the jewelry commercials and flower sales have been warning you of and preparing you for. Maybe you bought that ugly heart-shaped pendant or the teddy bear with the roses or a bunch of exotic foreign chocolate or maybe you're sleeping on the couch tonight.

But this is all from a guy's perspective, and for you ladies who don't really give a crap about Valentine's Day... for those of you who say "I don't want anything for Valentine's Day" and you really mean it... I applaud you. With your help, maybe someday we'll be able to isolate the Really Cool Woman gene and eventually breed the four-inch-fingernails trailer princess out of existence. Or at least get them down to a point where there are so few that we have to keep them in zoos, where adults can gawk and children can throw Moon Pies at them.