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Wednesday , June 11 , 2003

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But they're all diseases, kinda.

I quite simply refuse to go see 2 Fast 2 Furious, no matter how hilariously bad it may be, on the grounds that I am afraid that if I pay to see the movie, Hollywood will take that as an indication that I want to see more of this Rice-Boy-flavored pseudo-cinema. And I really, really don't. If you're one of those twits who really likes the movie and the rice-boy culture, and adding look-fast parts to your vehicle, fine. Have at it, but don't tell me about it. If, on the other hand, you understand why adding a giant rear spoiler to a front-wheel-drive vehicle just doesn't make sense, I love you.

Also, I want to point out that the knock-down drag-out deadly-virus-and-bacteria cage-match could have had a third participant, what with the recent outbreak of monkey pox. But really, I didn't want to confuse things. I mean... Monkey Pox. That joke just writes itself.

Oh. And go vote. Or I'll give you Monkey Pox. In your pants. MONKEYPOXINPANTS. HA.

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Random Axe of Kindness, its characters, its jokes, and the phrase "invisible hot dogs" are © 2001-2003 Andy Simmons.

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