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Monday , August 25 , 2003

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 comic comics joke jokes andy simmons geek olympics marathon triathalon lord of the rings two towers fellowship of the ring return of the king trilogy movie moviestheater theaters comicbook bag bags bagging star trek debate debates debating

So this is a real thing. In anticipation of the slavering geek crowds that will surely show for the initial release of LotR: Return of the King, many theaters around the country are planning to show the first two LotR movies, in order, immediately before the first midnight showing of Return of the King. But those won't just be the same movies they showed before... they'll be the full, extended versions previously available only on the Special Edition DVDs. So you're seriously looking at about 10 straight hours of movies. It's an epic story to be sure, and it will require some serious stamina from those pasty geek buttocks. I kind of wonder if theaters will provide intermissions between the films, or if they'll expect crowds to pee during the credits. Also, I'm sure that the theaters will love this, knowing that even the die-hard "theater food is too expensive so I never buy it" types will eventually get hungry during a ten-hour stretch. Especially considering that a good number of Tolkien fanboy geeks are... well... you know how fond hobbits are of eating? Let us just say that some of those fanboys could eat a hobbit under the table. Evaluate that phrase in any manner you please.

We're still holding the #1 spot in the BuzzComix top list, but starting to slip a little. Keep up with the voting, and we'll be sure to take #1 for the month.

Speaking of BuzzComix, they've just announced the nominees for the first annual BuzzComix awards. RAoK is, of course, completely absent from any of the categories. Now, you'd think I'd be upset about this, and to be entirely honest, I was upset at first. But then I stopped to think about who the nomination committee was. It's mostly other bCx webcomic artists. And, if you will glance through the list of strips on BuzzComix, you'll understand that I never had a chance. Maybe I can get nominated next year if I rewrite RAoK into a sporadically-updated, story-driven, manga-styled epic about a Wiccan half-elf who is in love with a gay anthropomorphized dragon, and they always talk about video games, working in tech support, and 1337n355, with absolute disdain for the standard rules of English grammar, spelling, and punctuation. That would be k-r4d, d00d.

UPDATE: apparently my nomination for "Outstanding Humor" was overlooked, and has just been corrected. So now I'm in the running. Please put down your torches and pitchforks, and return to your regularly scheduled programming.

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Random Axe of Kindness, its characters, its jokes, and the phrase "invisible hot dogs" are © 2001-2003 Andy Simmons.

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